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There are constructive ways to help you accept the reality of getting dumped, thus becoming more confident in yourself and successfully picking yourself up. It is time to let go when your partner wants to end the relationship with you, and he or she insists on never coming back to you again. It is pointless to go after your soon-to-be ex – after all, if you love him or her, you would wish them happiness, right?
Do not let negative emotions or feelings take charge of your mind. Being negative would not turn the situation around, but having positive thoughts would help you feel better, and recover from the heartbreak easily.
Throw away stuff that would remind you of your ex – the couples’ T-shirt, the pillow that he gave you, the watch she bought you on Valentine’s Day, etc. You should start looking forward in life as this will help to recover faster from being dumped and to get ready for the next relationship.
Challenge yourself to climb mountains or do a bungee jump. Achieving something new in your life will give you contentment, and make you realise that the breakup is not a big deal. Better yet, get over being dumped by signing up to a singles event.
Take up gym sessions or get into an exercise routine. Writing it out, if you find it hard not to think of being dumped may help to put things into perspective. These actions may help you to feel better and allow you to have a clearer understanding about being dumped.
If you still cannot get over being dumped, think of all the bad things about your ex – do not remind yourself again that he or she is the kind and loving one, a good sex partner, an understanding one and so on.
Being dumped is painful, but it is not completely terrible either. At least, you gained one more experience on love and life. One day, when you have healed completely from the heartbreak, you will find yourself smiling over the silly things you have done. Learning from this relationship that has now come to an end.
You know how to choose a better partner. You will feel more confident with yourself and your choice. You will know what is best for yourself and who deserves your genuine love and care.
You learnt how to treat your future partner better. Through this relationship, you understand better what really makes him or her happy.
You know when to give encouragements, and when to avoid picking on him or her. You know what must or must not be done, what should or should not be talked about.
You learned how to handle being dumped better. In case there is another failed relationship in future, you will be stronger as you had gone through this experience before, and would not be as fragile about love life. You know what you can do to pick yourself up.
Besides, through this experience, you may know how to communicate better with other people. You learned how to respect others. When you are in a relationship, you care for your partner most of the time, trying to understand each other and avoid complications in life. You learned to respect the other person’s personal time and space, as well as his or her rights to speak out.
You will get to know yourself better, as opposed to presuming, you know who you are. Your partner is like a mirror to you – it reflects your personality and character, or ways to handle daily activities. You will slowly realise your own mistakes as your partner points it out to you.
To survive being dumped, you must be generous and try to forget the past. Why would you want the negative emotions to continue with no end in sight and stuck in your mind, affecting you in your everyday life? If you still have feelings towards your ex, forgive him or her totally; forgiveness is the greatest love act of all.
Do not blame anyone for everything. Being dumped occurs when there are problems caused by both parties. Stop any thoughts that your ex is the one with all faults. Do not blame yourself for what you have done either and keep from regretting things.
Do not question yourself, neither what you should have actually done at that time. The relationship is over now, so why continue to figure out what to do to curb the problems, especially if there is no chance to reconcile. At this moment, you should focus on how to get rid of the heartbreak and not sticking with it.
Stop reminding yourself about the failures in the relationship, including checking back all the text messages and emails from your ex in the past. Do not allow all this to be the stumbling block that blocks you from thinking for yourself.
Remember the good and ditch the bad. Remember the good memories that both of you shared together; but avoid reflecting back the bad times and pressures, as this will make you feel less confident to start a new relationship.
Focus on the future. Whatever you experienced in this relationship, take it as an experience that brings you to a whole new level of examining yourself and moving towards a better future. It is never a good thing to reflect on all the problems faced in the relationship, but when you do, make sure you know how to find ways to improve yourself for the better.
Stop focusing on being dumped. Move on, today.
Image: Engin Akyurt